Shadows In a Season of Waiting

 

    I'll be the first the admit it, I am terrible at waiting. Anticipation of a thing, or a change, or a season is my arch nemesis!  This Advent in particular has been rife with opportunities to re-discover and acknowledge this thin spot in my character; waiting the coming of Christmas, the coming of the Christ child, the impending arrival of our own sweet baby boy, all the multitude of ways in which life itself is going to turn upside down and need to be re-written, re-shaped. 

    I cleared my schedule out around 37 weeks into pregnancy knowing that I would need extra rest, and forgetting completely how much I dislike too much anticipation.  And yet what unexpected joy God holds for us in the eves until we are yet ready to embrace a new challenge and essential growth!  In this month of seemingly too much anticipation and much more time to be home, it has been in the shadows of gentle light folding softly across our sweet home that my soul is beckoned to rest.  My weary mind, full of maternal preparation and anxieties, is ushered into the shadows of the day; The golden moments of early morning light spilling in from the East, and then again in the late afternoon hours when the sun casts its last repose for the day on all that is, and all that could not be accomplished. And it is good.  The shadows are as ever shifting and changing in intensity as the waves of emotion that surround the tides of my heart as our Father shapes me into a mother. Which is terrifying, lets just be clear.  And yet I know he has created Danny and I for just such as this. This season of great anticipation, and all that are to follow.